...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
