Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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