I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
