we're blogging at a bar
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
