the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
