We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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