It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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