So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
third nipple confirmed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
