Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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