I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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