I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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