I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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