I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
