I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
