Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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