i jhust puked up my retainher.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
did i just pee glitter
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
