The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
