I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
