she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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