Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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