The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
