I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
