I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
