Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
