ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm too high and old for this...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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