you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
