I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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