I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think my tv is drunk
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
