Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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