yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
