Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
