My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
