Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
