Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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