I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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