So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
