So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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