I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
