Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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