Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
