I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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