The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
