ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
