wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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