Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
