at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
