Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
