He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
