We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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