Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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