i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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